Signs of Life

Astrological Prayer

Alright, no one get offended. I received this in an e-mail and thought it was funny and cute. S0; since it is so cute and funny I thought I would share with all of my friends out there in cyber space.




Astrological Prayer


Aries:
Dear God, please give my patience........and could you do it right now?

Taurus:
Dear God, help me accept change, but not too fast.

Gemini:
Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?



Cancer:
Dear God!!!!

Leo:
Yes.

Virgo:
Dear God, please God make us prefect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.



Libra:
Dear God, help me to be decisive, on the other hand, what do you think is best?

Scorpio:
Our father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the B****ds don't deserve it!

Sagittarius:
Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.



Capricorn:
Dear God, I'd like to ask you to help me, but i learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else.

Aquarius:
Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!

Pisces:
Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for thy glory.

AMEN



I still think that this is very cute. I am a Pisces and since I am not really a drinker I guess it is not quite me. Leave me a comment and let me know if your sign fits you.

Woman Embracing Womanhood

There are many ways and myriad reasons for women to honor and embrace all that they are. And when any individual woman chooses to do so, all women collectively move closer to becoming what they are truly capable of being. By honoring her experience and being willing to share it with others—both male and female—she teaches as she learns. When she can trust herself and her inner voice, she teaches those around her to trust her as well. Clasping hands with family members and friends, coworkers and strangers in a shared walk through the journey of life, she allows all to see the self-respect she possesses and accepts their respect, too, that is offered through look, word, and deed. When a woman can look back into her past, doing so without regret and instead seeing only lessons that brought her to her current strength and wisdom, she embraces the fullness of her experience. She helps those around her to build upon the past as she does. And when she chooses to create her desires, she places her power in the present and moves forward with life into the future. Seeing her own divinity, a woman learns to recognize the divinity in all women. She then can see her body as a temple, appreciating its feminine form and function, regardless of what age or stage of life she finds herself. She can enjoy all that it brings to her experience and appreciate other women and their experiences as well. Rather than seeing other women as competition, she can look around her to see the cycle of life reflected in the beauty of her sisters, reminding her of her own radiance should she ever forget. She can then celebrate all the many aspects that make her a being worthy of praise, dancing to express the physical, speaking proudly to express her intellect, sharing her emotions, and leading the way with her spiritual guidance. Embracing her womanhood, she reveals the facets that allow her to shine with the beauty and strength of a diamond to illuminate her world...

A Woman Should Know

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

By MAYA ANGELOU

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
. a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a feeling of control over her destiny....

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ... how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ... how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month..and a year...

A powerful question to ask herself daily (or hourly) is this: "Am I operating from a consciousness of love and abundance, or a consciousness of fear and scarcity?" How you are feeling will give you a clue--love feels wonderful, peaceful. Fear feels nervous, anxious, even panicky.

Where are you creating from?

Ramblings & Funny Things

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.


Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...
Ladies Forbidden'...and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.


The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.


Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.


Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.



It is impossible to lick your elbow.


The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
$ 16,400

The average number of people airborne over the U.S.
in any given hour:
61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.


The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.


The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.


Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

Their birthplace

Most boat owners name their boats.


What is the most popular boat name requested?
Obsession


If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
One thousand

What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
All were invented by women.


What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
Honey

Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep o n. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight, sleep tight'

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4, 000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.


In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.

It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle , of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.


At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

Believe it or not, you can read this:
I cdnuolt blv eiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?


YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-m ail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7.Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
16. Now...you try to lick your elbow again.
SMILE